I woke up today and felt like death. My head was throbbing. I was covered in sweat. And when I tried to talk I sounded like Barry White after eating a hearty meal of sandpaper. Work was not an option as I literally couldn’t will myself out of bed, but when I came to in the early afternoon and started wading through my e-mails, I started to get angry at myself.
What is it about being sick that bothers me so much?
I’ve been like this ever since elementary school. I know what you’re thinking… “What kind of self-respecting nine-year-old wouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity to eat popsicles and watch The Price Is Right all day?” I had a tendency to get so caught up in thinking about how much information I would be missing and how much work I would have to do to get caught up that it almost wasn’t worth taking the day for myself.
I’m still like this. Except instead of popsicles it’s hot tea and honey. And instead of The Price is Right it’s anything but The Price Is Right because Drew Carey cannot hold a candle to Bob Barker.
While much of my anti-sickness preoccupation is still centered upon agonizing over how much I’ll have to hustle to get back on top of e-mails and work-related items, I think it has just as much to do with giving off the impression that I’m not perfect. (Shhhhh… don’t tell anyone.)
Seriously though, I’ve always been so dead-set on pleasing other people and proving to them that I am 100% capable of doing anything and everything passed my way that I forget to take care of myself in the process. Which is really dumb when you think about it. Because when I don’t take care of myself I know for a fact that it almost always leads to getting sicker. And that’s Bad News Bears on a whole new level.
I need to get better at this whole taking care of myself thing. Because, at this point, nobody else is doing it for me!